dirty dancing

Podkreślam, że tylko z powodu braku śniegu
Postanowiłam stanąć w tanecznym szeregu.
A może zbliżające się wesele
Uświadomiło w pewnych sferach braków wiele...

Jaki taniec króluje tego lata?
Będzie to pewnie zmysłowa bachata.
Czy Ania na kurs tańca się nada,
Jeśli według niej ta nauka to żenada?

Na szczęście zajęcia odbywają się ciemną nocą,
A poza tym małpka przychodzi z pomocą.
Jeszcze tylko siedem godzin tej męczarni
I już nie będziemy tak bardzo niezdarni :)

someone must have inhaled my second half of orange

Yesterday a nice guy proposed to me
There was no ring, though, unfortunately
The relation is not romantic, but a guarantee
However; it may lead to husband husbandry
Most probably I won’t end up an old maid
My new fiancé has set the wedding date
Unless we find a spouse until one day
We'll marry each other and come what may
The chance to meet someone with whom it will be Heaven
Is till the end of 2011
Let’s face it, this deadline is very tight
So I have to be quick, canny and bright
Not to be outwitted by the pumped groom
Who plans our wedding to be very soon

chwdż

Froggy deserves a rack
And all his bones will crack
Other wilful torture
Will be good at scorcher
And he won’t earn a plaque

women...

There’s a party tonight
I have to look all right
I've got nothing to wear
And not much time to spare
To go and meet my knight

road hog

In the morning today
A car cut off my way
A slight fender-bender
With my car so tender
The bumper needs some spray

NEVER

Never fly Air France
Never pay in advance
Never directly accept an inheritance
Never marry with no prenup
If you are knocked out – always get up
Never bury without cremation
Never insult another nation
Never be alone, always together
And most importantly – never say never

swelter

Concede – even a queer
Likes to drink some cold beer
If there is very hot
Everyone sweats a lot
The pleasure is just sheer

moody weather

In summer during storm
We always watch some porn
And then in hunger pain
Run in the pouring rain
To impale on a horn

body building

There was a body-built
With torso like a shield
He wanted someone quick
To roughly suck his dick
And then he’d be fulfilled

peeping

I walked into the park
It wasn’t very dark
And then beside the tree
I watched some porn for free
Two squirrels had the spark

sci-fi

Anna went on a date
She wasn’t at all late
The guy was very neat
And brought her something sweet
Yet still she has no faith

soft

Gina loves to smoke pot
And she does this a lot
She’s often very high
And offers me to buy
So that’s the story plot

my first limerick in English

There was a man named Bob
Who really loved blowjob
And once a week at least
He travelled to the east
Got hookers on his knob

psychoterapia ;P

Nadworny konsultant do damsko-męskich spraw
Wkrótce doczeka się gromkich braw.
Rozkminia on bowiem międzypłciowe gierki
Z łatwością na poziomie gry w bierki,
A z gierek tworzy się „love”.